Ladies and gentlemen of the audience,
Reports of superstar's movement all over the media. Whether good or bad, they do cause influences on us. I stand here today to discuss with you an issue that has troubled us all greatly. It is the fact that more and more of our impressionable youth are being swayed towards ruin by their‘Role Models’-Celebrities…
Celebrities cause a negative impact on our young generations. Few months ago, a famous celebrity starlet,got into trouble for drink driving and almost killing an innocent pedestrian. She was sentenced to a mere two weeks in prison, a woefully short period of time. However, after serving a measly short period of two days in jail, she was released and immediately returned to her previous party girl life. She and countless other celebrities are people are polluting the minds of the innocent young these days.
Celebrities do not consider the fact that even though they are well-known, they would be arrested when they break the law. It is already well known that most, if not all celebrities are party animals, fettering their obscene amount of money away on parties and alcohol. Their attitudes to the ordinary man on the street are horrible. Said another celebrity when she took a man’s car”I’m a celebrity, I can’t get arrested.”Even though she is a celebritiy,she have no right to take people property as hers and also there is no law stating that celebrities would not be arrested if they do something wrong.
Thus, this is why I feel that celebrities are not good role models for the world youth of today. And strict censures should be put on films with them inside to protect the minds of today’s youth form being led astray form their bad influences.
Thank you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Topic Sentence not that clear , language is quite expressive while examples should have names yo !
Comment by
by Iqbalism and Tian Ruism
Introduction paragraph is a good start because it introduces on how celebrities should not be taken as role models. It has proper focus to the question.
Some topic sentences are clear but the rest in the paragraph are irrelevant. No clear elaborations were given , only examples.
It only gives one topic per paragraph.
However, the topic sentences links with concluding statement.
the comment stated August19, 2007 6.33PM is done by Four Over ONE!!! (:
No thesis statement and introduction is very vague. Can't find the focus of the topic.
Sencond paragraph is okay. Have topic sentence and elaboration.
Third paragraph has no topic sentence. Has no focus at all! Does not address the audience. Just like writing an essay.
grp5
The thesis statement is not really focused on the topic but the topic sentences are quite to the point. There are also examples given and the elaboration is focused on the topic sentence.
`Create
introduction is not attention grabbing enough, a little boring. could have been more strong and more persuasive. nice effort, though but can be improved
=)
Post a Comment